I too long for someone out there who’d wait for me to come back each time
If you have to constantly hide your true thoughts, constantly phrase what you want to say in a way people will like to hear you just to socialise and be among the popular group, I feel sorry for you. Because the person who’s popular and well liked isn’t you,
It’s “another [person] in your shape”
On the other hand, sometimes saying out everything about yourself is pretty dangerous. My best friend once told me off for posting trivialities about myself on twitter, and I took offence at that point of time. I wondered why he said that, twitter is free speech you say what you want everyone does it. Only now when im constantly seeing people post all sorts of things on twitter that I realise why he said it. Everyone is inherently judgmental, though we don’t wish to be. Twitter reveals far too much of the inner persona which people can hide on facebook because statuses dont go by the hour/minute. Twitter is like a live update on yourself if you frequent it. And the things you post reflect alot about you. If one day you decide to just watch your twitter feed without posting anything for a day, just following a few people, you realise the image/ impression you once had of him/her starts to take a change. Its a dangerous place. I guess that’s why my parents are so against my use of social networking sites. They just want to protect me
I’m caught in the middle~
I never thought I’d be thinking of someone I barely know this much. Would it be because I don’t know the person that I think of her this much? Or is there a much deeper reason why I do, like an unexplainable connection between the two of us that we have yet to reveal? Or would it be a Laughable explanation like love at first sight, the strong attraction anchored down from the first forms of contact made, be it eye contact or the rather insignificant conversation?
Sometimes, the most ridiculous explanations provide the greatest understandings to ones questions
I was sharing some experiences about Junior College life with a junior when we eventually came to the topic about relationships. He was previously sharing about how sweet things were as he got along with his crush and yet felt really insecure, so it was kind of feeling really good and yet really bad at the same time, and I believe many of us empathise. In the end he told me, ” People always say 暧昧的时候 is the best part of a relationship, [it’s not so special after that]” (I restructured his words so it sounds less singlish HAHA).
Really? Feelings just die like that? “Familiarity breeds contempt”?
After he said that my immediate reply was, ” That’s a modern day concept that people keep spreading.” He wasn’t convinced yet, and said hmm. Of course I wasn’t done yet, so I continued,
“Then people end up losing faith and give up trying. There’s no such thing as ‘feeling just dies because it’s like that”
Still not convinced.He added another m. ”Hmmm”
Then came my triumph card,
“Feelings die because you THINK it will, then you forgot that the feelings were there because you put in effort in the first place.”
Finally he was convinced. And he was somewhat enlightened or something and went, ”True. Oh f***kkkkkk. That’s f**king true. it’s the effort”(and a bit more censors while he said I was feeling wise, probably overwhelmed by this realisation and perhaps some sort of guilt)
I’m not a love guru, and this doesn’t take a genius or an expert to understand. Isn’t it? When you want to do well for a test you have to put in the effort. If you do, you get the results, you don’t, then you don’t get the results, simple as that. Love is somewhat like a test, it’s a test for both parties, a test on whether both are willing to put in the effort to go through thick and thin. Every test has simple and hard questions, you’re never getting one that is simple throughout nor one that’s killer all the way. If it’s simple throughout, it’s not a test, and if it’s insanely difficult, it’s not a test for you. The problem with many of us is that we tend to speculate the end results before things happen, or even before things start, then we decide to forgo even trying since “there’s no point, it’s going to fail”. Everyone says, oh love isn’t going to last, the honeymoon period is always during courtship, then things just break down one by one after that. Listen to that statement, and reflect upon it yourself. Did your marriage fail because it’s MEANT to break down after courtship? Or it broke down because YOU meant it to be so when you gave up?
It’s hard. I know it’s hard. Who doesn’t know it’s hard? I know it’s hard because i’ve yet to get into one. It’s THAT hard. You got past that hurdle, you got into a relationship, now you’re letting it go just like that? Just because you got tired and decided to blame everything on fate and how it’s not working out because “it was never meant to work out anyway”? Get real, you know you didn’t think this way when you tried to get things started. Look at the big difference between the start, and the end that you’ve artificially created with your own effort, or the lack of it. People always claim they love the sight of old couples still so loving at their age. Well work towards it! Did you think it was some sort of white magic love potion that kept them loving each other till the day they could barely talk nor walk? They succeeded because they tried, and they went through everything together with every ounce of strength and courage. Who said it was easy for them? It’s meant to be difficult. It’s meant to be so at the end you realise how powerful love can be, and how much you really treasure the other person. Love was always simple, until we complicated things with doubt, greed and lust.
I may strike off as the most idealistic idiot who doesn’t have a clue about what he’s talking about, someone who hasn’t had a relationship before talking big as if it were that easy. Well, I admit, I haven’t been in one and just by seeing how many of my friends have had to deal with numerous relationship problems, love does seem really daunting to me. But I simply refuse to concede that there is no such thing as that fairytale love that everyone used to believe in till pragmatism came. Before we even make fatalistic statements on how love never works out, why don’t we just take a moment to think about what we’ve been doing so far, whether we really deserve that “impossible” love. Maybe, just maybe, you’d find the answer you have been looking for all this while, why the feeling died.